These last hours

Well, my summer in Iowa is nearing an end. In less than 36 hours I will be on a plane headed to the sunny beaches of Tampa Bay, FL. I hope that this next week in Florida with my family turns out to be a good trip. I don't know what I'm gonna do with my hair for this trip, but I'll figure it out.
I really can't wait until I get back to Louisiana though. I got a lot of stuff that I need to get together before the semester even gets started. I really hope that my finances are where they need to be. I have to keep my head on straight this fall and stay on the path I have chosen--despite all the outside obstacles. I really think that this fall is going to go great for me. I am going to get my grades straight and I'm going to achieve the goals I have set for myself.
This summer has really put a lot of things into perspective for me. I realize all the things I need to do to improve mentally, physically, socially and emotionally. I have to let all these stress factors go and be happy and productive.
My senior year of college really came fast. Who knew that I would still be here 3 yrs after enrolling at Southern University. Man, I just have to prepare myself for the next step in life. I just don't know what I need to do--work or grad school? This fall will help me figure what I really wanna do. If I'm gonna go Grad I need to get the scores and the GPA together.
Then there's the interest in trying the music thing for a while. I have really been thinking about the individual who told me I should come to NO and sing. I mean singing is something I really want to do. I have a passion for music and I feel like I could do something. No sense in letting my voice go to waste. My dad has always fussed at me for not enrolling in a voice class in school. This fall I'm going to enroll and I need to get my voice back to where it was in high school.

Its pure nonsense to dwell on the past, I look forward to what the future brings. Move on--let all the bad things go, lift your head, keep a smile and continue to sing. No one can bring shadows into your life, unless you let them come block your light.

Letter 2 You

I've tried to be in denial and I've tried to accept things as they are, but I realize that its time to be real with myself. I care for you more than you know, but you never really meant good by me. You can say what you want, but the truth is that I was just another stepping stone in your life.
I never told you, but when we started talking I was in the middle of making some major changes. I had decided to start living a righteous life and deny myself of the things that I wanted--namely attention from someone. I thought that I could hold to my convictions but my flesh gave in. I can not continue to subject myself to worry and stress.
I always asked you what you wanted from me and you never answered. I don't deserve this situation, but I don't blame you. It is my fault that I let you in. Things like this can only happen to people that allow it to come to pass. I knew you were not going to be just for me, despite the fact that I was only for you. I can not open my body up to that kind of risk--let's face it I know you sleep around and I really don't know what you do.
I was so happy with you in the beginning and you just let me down. You really got me and that's what is so sad. I hate feeling like this for you, I feel so cheated. Why are you like this with me like I'm such a bad person or a hoe or something? I never understood that. I am a good woman and I know that live a blessed life. Just couldn't understand why you didn't see me?