Wednesday, July 20

Letter 2 You

I've tried to be in denial and I've tried to accept things as they are, but I realize that its time to be real with myself. I care for you more than you know, but you never really meant good by me. You can say what you want, but the truth is that I was just another stepping stone in your life.
I never told you, but when we started talking I was in the middle of making some major changes. I had decided to start living a righteous life and deny myself of the things that I wanted--namely attention from someone. I thought that I could hold to my convictions but my flesh gave in. I can not continue to subject myself to worry and stress.
I always asked you what you wanted from me and you never answered. I don't deserve this situation, but I don't blame you. It is my fault that I let you in. Things like this can only happen to people that allow it to come to pass. I knew you were not going to be just for me, despite the fact that I was only for you. I can not open my body up to that kind of risk--let's face it I know you sleep around and I really don't know what you do.
I was so happy with you in the beginning and you just let me down. You really got me and that's what is so sad. I hate feeling like this for you, I feel so cheated. Why are you like this with me like I'm such a bad person or a hoe or something? I never understood that. I am a good woman and I know that live a blessed life. Just couldn't understand why you didn't see me?

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