So today I watched an interesting vlog about men. In this vlog, he discussed that most men (not all) seek to obtain success before committing to a woman. I propose the question: Can a man reach success with a woman? I find it interesting that one of the points he made is that women lose focus of what they desire because of the man they acquire or as he put it so eloquently, "falls in love". It is an extremely hard concept for me to grasp because I can't recall putting a man before my own success or desire. What is even more interesting to me is that "other men" will attain a relationship and in due time reach a level of success.
Speaking from my own experience, I typically avoid men who are too wound up in reaching success. Only due to the fact that this man has become (for a lack of better words) obsessed with this idea. I have met someone before that I encouraged to continue to reach for his goals and did not deter from my own objectives, but ultimately no matter where I was professionally, mentally, spiritually, etc he chose to go his own way. I honestly think that the root of the problem has more to do with this ideal that women are a deterrent to success and that a man does not feel comfortable attaining a woman without a proper "offer".
What stuns me is that some men can not see the damage that they do to women on a grand scale? Because of this attitude there are single mothers who were with these men on their journey to success that were left to the wayside, women who have developed a very similar attitude to obtain their success over a successful relationship, young women who have become scorn because some young man decided that she loved him too much, etc. So when he reaches his "success" he has this same pool of women to pick from and he finds that he is coming up empty handed because these women have dealt with this pedigree of men.
What is even more interesting to me, is that we have a pool of examples that show us that relationships that can sustain through struggle and reach a level of success without this notion of "doing it by myself" but chose to lean to our own understanding. My deeper question is: What is the point of all of this success? I'll give you a minute.
In my case, I strive to put myself in a position to sustain a peaceful lifestyle and maybe have a family of my own. I don't know about the rest of you but what is the point of reaching said "success" if you don't have anyone to share it with? I'll let you marinate.
I also want to point out an interesting factor. Success is a very relative term. How a person defines success can be molded by many things. So if your definition changes, then what? What if your success lied in joining with someone else? So the question becomes what is really important to you?
When I was faced with another individual who was dead set on reaching success and wanted me to hang around so that he could have a place-filler, I politely objected and moved around. Unfortunate for him, once he reached his level of success and realized that he wanted to be committed to me I had decided otherwise (SOL). Not being spiteful but realizing that I was not important to him, because if I was he would not have let me go. And he would have known I would never deterred him from reaching success.
Here is the link for the vlog if you are interested
Men 101- Sean Wilson Vlog http://thirty86.com/blog/?p=7133
Monday, June 20
Saturday, June 11
Watch Your Mouth
So I realize that in today's society, you have the freedom to express yourselves. You can say what you are thinking and everybody can follow your train of thought on Twitter. You can share your ideas with friends and enemies on Facebook. You can express yourself through artistic expression or through daily rants on Blogger. As an human being, you have the liberty to say whatever you want to say however you want but I hope you realize the gravity and power of YOUR WORDS.
One particular scripture that I reflect on is, "The tongue has the power of life and death. . . " and when you think about it this is extremely true and relevant today. With one command an entire platoon can attack a small village, with one phrase a person can save the life of a potential victim, or with one word a person can find the strength to go another day. When you began to see the POWER of what is said, I wonder what you speak into your life and what you allow other people to speak into your life?
The difference between you having a great day versus a horrible day may lie in what you say before you even walk out the door. The difference between you thinking highly of yourself and thinking less of yourself may lie in words someone else says to you. I want you to think about it. Whether you are wiling to believe it or not, you control what you think, what you say, what you choose to accept and what you choose to deny. You have to take a stance to SPEAK LIFE. And you do not have to allow anyone else's thoughts about you to become YOUR TRUTH.
In addition, be careful of what you say to other people. You would be surprised of the POWER of your very own words! I hear a lot of people say that "MEN/WOMEN ain't shhh!" but did you ever stop to think that maybe hearing that all the time led them to believe that they had to own that idea? I realized it the day when the words I spoke years ago come flowing from someone's mouth. We both had said things about each other in anger. The difference: I CHOSE NOT to own what he said about me and he CHOSE to own what I said about him. Now that I am older and I reflect on what I said to a loved one, it makes me a little more cautious about what I say to people. If you can't say anything nice, DO NOT say anything at all. I realize that it may be a difficult concept but ask yourself do you want to have a part of what someone else thinks of themselves?
At the end of the day, what you say may seem like it doesn't affect you but I want you to realize something. In most cases, before you speak you think. So if you are saying "I am worthless", that more than likely means you think that about yourself. If you look at some of the popular rap artists, they SAY "I am the best rapper" therefore they think that about themselves. See where I am going with this? So before you say something negative about yourself or allow someone else to tell you something negative about you, be sure to say "WATCH YOUR MOUTH!"
One particular scripture that I reflect on is, "The tongue has the power of life and death. . . " and when you think about it this is extremely true and relevant today. With one command an entire platoon can attack a small village, with one phrase a person can save the life of a potential victim, or with one word a person can find the strength to go another day. When you began to see the POWER of what is said, I wonder what you speak into your life and what you allow other people to speak into your life?
The difference between you having a great day versus a horrible day may lie in what you say before you even walk out the door. The difference between you thinking highly of yourself and thinking less of yourself may lie in words someone else says to you. I want you to think about it. Whether you are wiling to believe it or not, you control what you think, what you say, what you choose to accept and what you choose to deny. You have to take a stance to SPEAK LIFE. And you do not have to allow anyone else's thoughts about you to become YOUR TRUTH.
In addition, be careful of what you say to other people. You would be surprised of the POWER of your very own words! I hear a lot of people say that "MEN/WOMEN ain't shhh!" but did you ever stop to think that maybe hearing that all the time led them to believe that they had to own that idea? I realized it the day when the words I spoke years ago come flowing from someone's mouth. We both had said things about each other in anger. The difference: I CHOSE NOT to own what he said about me and he CHOSE to own what I said about him. Now that I am older and I reflect on what I said to a loved one, it makes me a little more cautious about what I say to people. If you can't say anything nice, DO NOT say anything at all. I realize that it may be a difficult concept but ask yourself do you want to have a part of what someone else thinks of themselves?
At the end of the day, what you say may seem like it doesn't affect you but I want you to realize something. In most cases, before you speak you think. So if you are saying "I am worthless", that more than likely means you think that about yourself. If you look at some of the popular rap artists, they SAY "I am the best rapper" therefore they think that about themselves. See where I am going with this? So before you say something negative about yourself or allow someone else to tell you something negative about you, be sure to say "WATCH YOUR MOUTH!"
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