So today I watched an interesting vlog about men. In this vlog, he discussed that most men (not all) seek to obtain success before committing to a woman. I propose the question: Can a man reach success with a woman? I find it interesting that one of the points he made is that women lose focus of what they desire because of the man they acquire or as he put it so eloquently, "falls in love". It is an extremely hard concept for me to grasp because I can't recall putting a man before my own success or desire. What is even more interesting to me is that "other men" will attain a relationship and in due time reach a level of success.
Speaking from my own experience, I typically avoid men who are too wound up in reaching success. Only due to the fact that this man has become (for a lack of better words) obsessed with this idea. I have met someone before that I encouraged to continue to reach for his goals and did not deter from my own objectives, but ultimately no matter where I was professionally, mentally, spiritually, etc he chose to go his own way. I honestly think that the root of the problem has more to do with this ideal that women are a deterrent to success and that a man does not feel comfortable attaining a woman without a proper "offer".
What stuns me is that some men can not see the damage that they do to women on a grand scale? Because of this attitude there are single mothers who were with these men on their journey to success that were left to the wayside, women who have developed a very similar attitude to obtain their success over a successful relationship, young women who have become scorn because some young man decided that she loved him too much, etc. So when he reaches his "success" he has this same pool of women to pick from and he finds that he is coming up empty handed because these women have dealt with this pedigree of men.
What is even more interesting to me, is that we have a pool of examples that show us that relationships that can sustain through struggle and reach a level of success without this notion of "doing it by myself" but chose to lean to our own understanding. My deeper question is: What is the point of all of this success? I'll give you a minute.
In my case, I strive to put myself in a position to sustain a peaceful lifestyle and maybe have a family of my own. I don't know about the rest of you but what is the point of reaching said "success" if you don't have anyone to share it with? I'll let you marinate.
I also want to point out an interesting factor. Success is a very relative term. How a person defines success can be molded by many things. So if your definition changes, then what? What if your success lied in joining with someone else? So the question becomes what is really important to you?
When I was faced with another individual who was dead set on reaching success and wanted me to hang around so that he could have a place-filler, I politely objected and moved around. Unfortunate for him, once he reached his level of success and realized that he wanted to be committed to me I had decided otherwise (SOL). Not being spiteful but realizing that I was not important to him, because if I was he would not have let me go. And he would have known I would never deterred him from reaching success.
Here is the link for the vlog if you are interested
Men 101- Sean Wilson Vlog http://thirty86.com/blog/?p=7133
No comments:
Post a Comment