Mind > Heart

It's an interesting thing when the mind takes over and I begin to rationalize something that my mind can not even begin to fathom. Mainly because I try to delegate matters of the heart to the mind and my mind is not in a position to make the those kind of decisions. You see I made the effort to align the thoughts in a streamline trajectory and hit what I thought was the appropriate target. He seemed to be everything I needed and if I gave it time then he would become everything I wanted. When the truth of the matter is that my mind made a choice my heart had dismissed sometime ago.

I wonder though if my heart was the one that wasn't mature enough to govern. Like a ruler coming to the throne before his time. Perhaps I needed more time to grow and realize that my heart was the very force contradicting and negating the process of making an adequate decision. This inability to make an appropriate resolution is a ground for destruction. Mixed emotion and mixed thoughts leads to an untimely and unprecedented amount of uncertainty. I was mislead and in a place where I needed to find the right orientation.

What if all these times I thought I had found love was me actually being in love with the idea of me and him? What if the standard that I set, was the very model my heart had become familiar? So in all actuality, my mind had the right away in this moment because my heart had been influenced by fake mechanisms and now was tainted with faux expectations. My previous experiences had lead me to believe that LOVE was something different, something more guided by what I felt and I am sure I am not the only one. Now I am forced to give my mind the right to govern and allow my heart the time to reach its full potential.

For a heart that is not ready to make decisions to satisfy the soul should be given a moment to rest until ready. The truth is that the heart can decide that which may not be best for all parties involved and the mind will continuously combat. When I can get the equation to be MIND = HEART on selections then I'll spend my days allowing them to grow together. So the next time I make a choice, I don't have throw someone else into my fray and potentially leave them scarred. For a scarred soul is the most interesting encounter. . . . . they rationalize all occurrences and never give their heart a chance to grow or make a decision with or without their mind. At the end of the day, I choose to do what I do because I do not desire to be responsible for the conception of another soul who chooses MIND > HEART